“Mary, I love your daughter. I want to spend my life making her happy.”
In four minutes, I’ll be a fiancé or a cautionary tale. She emerges. One eyebrow raised. Lipstick perfectly applied — the color of authority.
Ten minutes. That’s how long she said. “Just give me ten minutes to finish my face.”
“Okay, Chris. You wanted to talk?”
And all I can say is: “I really like your foundation. Very dewy.”
But here I am. Sweating through my nice shirt. The ring box in my jacket pocket feels like a live grenade. I rehearsed this. In the car. In the shower. At 3 a.m. staring at the ceiling.
She sits down across from me.
If you're asking me to inspired by that concept — meaning a story, scene, or sketch that captures a similar tense, funny, or awkward short time span — I can do that.
My girlfriend’s mother. Mary. Retired school principal. Keeps a list of “approved topics for male guests” in her head. Sports. Weather. Real estate. Nothing about emotions, careers that don’t involve a 401k, and definitely nothing about marrying her daughter.
I open my mouth.
I hear her now. Mascara wand clicking. She’s taking her time. This isn’t makeup. This is psychological warfare.
But what if she asks me my five-year plan? What if she says, “You’re not good enough”? What if she laughs? What if she just keeps doing her eyeliner in terrifying silence?
Here's an original short feature based on your idea: 10 Minutes While My Girlfriend's Mother Is Doing Her Makeup Format: Short comic monologue / internal narration SCENE: A living room. The speaker, CHRIS (late 20s), sits on a stiff couch. From down the hall, we hear the faint sound of a hairdryer, then makeup brushes clicking against a counter. 10 Minutes While My Girlfriend-s Mother Is Doin...