“I think today’s one of them.”
Later, they would go back to the tiny apartment with its leaking faucet and its stack of unpaid bills. Later, Grace would forget again—this afternoon, this name, this love. But right now, with her mother’s head on her shoulder and the salt wind in her teeth, Lena understood something she had been too tired to see before.
She was nineteen, though she felt sixty. For the last two years, she had worked the night shift at the Merrow Cannery, her hands perpetually reeking of brine and tuna oil. Her mother, Grace, sat beside her—silent, trembling slightly, a thin blanket draped over her lap even though the bus was warm. The home care nurse had said “early onset” three times, but the word Lena couldn’t shake was goodbye .
Lena helped her mother out of her wheelchair—a loaner from the clinic—and they walked the last fifty feet to the edge of the bluff. Grace leaned on her, light as a sparrow. The ocean stretched before them, grey and vast and indifferent. But then, just at the horizon, a crack of light opened in the clouds—a single golden seam—and the water turned to hammered silver.
Today, Lena had quit the cannery. Today, she had sold her mother’s engagement ring—the one with the tiny diamond that had belonged to Grace’s own mother. The pawnbroker had given her three hundred dollars. Not enough for a specialist. Not enough for rent. But enough for one afternoon.
And they did. For one afternoon, against all odds, they did.
Grace smiled—a real smile, the kind that used to light up whole rooms. “Which one?”
The old woman nodded slowly, watching the silver water. “Then we’d better make it last.”
Grace stopped walking. Her faded eyes, which had been lost somewhere inside the fog of her illness, suddenly sharpened. She blinked.
“Yes, Mum?”
They stood there for a long time. Grace began to hum—an old sea shanty, the one she used to sing while washing dishes. Lena joined in, off-key and unashamed. A flock of gulls wheeled overhead, crying out like rusty hinges. The golden seam in the clouds widened, just a little.
Merrow sat on an estuary, where the river met the ocean, but the cannery blocked the view. All Lena had seen for two years was the back of a freezer truck and the cracked linoleum of the breakroom. Grace, before the forgetting, had been a marine biologist. She’d once swum with humpbacks off the coast of Newfoundland. Now she sometimes forgot how to use a fork.
“Lena,” she said. Not who are you? Not where’s my daughter? Just her name, clear as a bell.
The rain hadn’t stopped for a week. It fell in a steady, hopeless drizzle over the coastal town of Merrow, turning the streets into mirrors of grey sky. Lena pressed her forehead against the cold bus window, watching her own breath fog the glass.
