Dvd Menu | Games

You press play. A MIDI trumpet fanfare blasts through your living room TV speakers. A jpeg of Donkey slides onto the screen. The host asks: "How many balloons does Shrek pop in the parade scene?"

You are asked the runtime of a specific burp. Option A: 2 seconds. Option B: 4 seconds. Option C: "That burp signifies the existential dread of the working class." You pick A. BWONG. You lose. The disc ejects itself in shame. dvd menu games

So why do I feel a pang of nostalgia every time I see a static menu screen? You press play

And honestly? That’s fine. The lag was unbearable. The host asks: "How many balloons does Shrek

Remember the feeling? You’re 12 years old. It’s a rainy Saturday. You just convinced your parents to rent Shrek 2 from Blockbuster. But you don’t want to watch the movie. Not yet.

In the early 2000s, every major family film came bundled with what I call the "Shovelware Mini-Game." These weren't games in the Nintendo sense. They were PowerPoint presentations with a time limit.

But next time you’re at a thrift store and you see a dusty copy of Finding Nemo with the "Bonus Material" sticker still on it, buy it. Take it home. Plug in your old PS2. Try to guess how many seagulls say "Mine."