Horror B-movie Instant

A broke film crew, a cursed script, and a special effect that refuses to stop growing.

We laughed when the "spores" (Merv’s painted ping-pong balls) started vibrating.

We were shooting The Spore That Took Toledo , a masterpiece of low-budget schlock. Our director, Lenny "Five-Takes" Falzone, had found a deal on fifty gallons of corn syrup and red food coloring. Our monster was a rubber suit left over from a 1987 Toho rip-off. Our lead, Dirk Steele (real name: Kevin from accounting), delivered lines like he was returning a library book. horror b-movie

The Fungus From Sector 7

Take fourteen.

By noon, the craft services table was buried under a pulsating, mustard-yellow carpet of mycelium. The boom mic had turned into a fleshy vine that whispered "Toledo must fall" in a wet, gurgling voice. The script supervisor, Brenda, was last seen crawling into the Porta-Potty, which had grown a thick, leathery hide and started purring.

The art, unfortunately, ate the camera first. Then it ate Kevin from accounting. Then it absorbed the entire camera crew, their bodies dissolving into gelatinous lumps that still weakly held their boom poles. A broke film crew, a cursed script, and

We stopped laughing when one of them sprouted a tiny, twitching eye.