“She screamed. Not a loud horror movie scream, but this strangled, squeaky-toy sound. She fumbled for her phone, which made the screen mirroring go berserk—suddenly the video was playing at double speed, then upside down, then it disconnected, but not before the ‘up next’ autoplay started showing the titles of her recent searches.”

“Mia’s head snaps toward me. Her eyes go wider than dinner plates. She yanks the blanket up to her chin. I just raise my Gatorade like a total idiot and go, ‘…Thirsty?’”

“I trudge upstairs to the kitchen. The house is silent. Dark. I grab a Gatorade from the fridge, chug half of it, and then I hear it.”

“She grabbed a throw pillow and whipped it at my head. ‘GET OUT!’ she shrieks. I’m already running. I tripped over the vacuum cleaner. I slammed my elbow into the wall. I made it to the front door and literally sprinted to my car.”

“Now I’m sitting here. My Gatorade is warm. My soul has left my body. And I just got a text from her.”

“Me? I’m the ‘loud gamer who forgets to knock’ type. That’s important.”

“So yeah. That’s my night. We are now bonded by mutual destruction. She’s probably hiding in her room deleting her browser history, and I’m going to have to look her in the eye over breakfast tomorrow.”

“Let’s just say it was not a nature documentary. It was two people who were very familiar with each other’s… geography.”

“I peek around the corner.”

“It says: ‘If you tell anyone, I will tell Mom about the time you ordered $300 of ‘collectible anime figures’ with her credit card.’”

“A… sound . From the living room. It was muffled. Like someone was trying really hard to be quiet but failing. At first, I thought it was a horror movie. You know that weird rhythmic creaking? Yeah.”

“Mia is on the big sectional couch. She’s wrapped in a blanket like a burrito. But the blanket is… moving. Her phone is propped up on the coffee table, connected to the TV via screen mirroring. And on the 75-inch 4K screen, in glorious, surround-sound detail…”

“I froze. I should have just walked away. Gone back to the basement. Pretended I was a statue. But no. My foot found the one creaky floorboard in the entire house. Creeeeak. ”

“So, tonight. Mom and her dad are at some fancy work dinner until midnight. I’m home alone… or so I thought. I was in the basement playing Elden Ring , got my butt kicked by the same boss for the third time, and rage-quit. I was thirsty. Like, ‘dry-mouth, seeing-spots’ thirsty.”

“Let me tell you, I learned more about my stepsister’s ‘specific interests’ in two seconds than any human should ever know. Let’s just say she has a theme. A very… animated theme.”