Geordie Shore Apr 2026

I’ve just found a bloody chicken in the fridge. And not even a real one. One of them ones that squawks. That’s it. I’m dead. I’ve died and gone to Blackpool.

(Voice like gravel) Why does me fanny taste like last night’s tequila? And why am I wearin’ a single sock and a traffic warden’s hat?

RIGHT. WHO PUT A FIREWORK IN MY BEDROOM TOILET? Geordie Shore

(Finally standing up, wobbling) THAT’S THE SPIRIT! GEORDIE SHORE, BABY! WE DON’T DO HANGOVERS. WE DO TOP-UPS.

The Kitchen.

A framed photo of the lads. It has a slice of pizza crust balanced on the corner.

Wet wipes and empty bottles of CÎROC COCONUT WATER litter the floor. I’ve just found a bloody chicken in the fridge

(Mumbling, not awake) Don’t… touch… me… lashes…